Unconventional Reunions

by Spirit of Chaos

I do not own any of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer charactors, they belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and WB. I am writing this story purely to get an idea out of my head and into pixels. I am not going to make any money out of it, so please don't sue or else my goldfish might starve.

Buffy and Joyce were in the middle of one of their rare mother/daughter bonding evenings when the phone rang. Joyce rolled her eyes, it could not be anyone she wanted to speak to. All her friends knew that Buffy was home from college that night and had promised not to disturb them. The time they spent together was getting much more precious now that her daughter was in her sophomore year and in a serious relationship.

Joyce picked it up, "Hello."

A woman's voice, loud, with an overpowering manner, assaulted her ears, "Is that Joyce Summers? Joyce Mackay that was?"

"Er... yes."

"Oh good, your mother gave me the number. She seemed a little reluctant to tell me, even though I explained... twice. Is she getting... you know... a little feeble?"

"Not since last week, no. She just knows I don't want to be rung up at all hours. Now if you don't mind you can explain it to me, once will do. Oh, and by the way. Who are you?"

The voice laughed, "Oh silly me, I suppose I thought you might recognise me, even after twenty-five years. Most people do you know."

Oh God! She did recognise her, loud, rude, totally obnoxious... "Judith Horner?"

"There you go. Now I've got an invite for you..."

"I'm not going to a high school reunion!" Yep! Judith Horner, loud, rude and totally obnoxious, the ideal person to bully people into going to a reunion.

"Now, now Joyce, think about it. This is the big one, twenty-five years. We all really want to see you there. I decided to ring you personally and invite you, as I don't think the postal invites to our tenth, fifteenth or twentieth year ones got to you. It'll be such fun, you'll catch up with all your old buddies. Your old friend Terri Hughes has promised to be there!"

The JUDAS, they had made a pledge. The minute they had shaken the dust of Grantham Pools High off their shoes, they had promised each other. They were never going back. Joyce was weakening, "When is it?"

"Saturday, the twelfth."

"Oh, I'm not sure, the Gallery has a big exhibition opening that night. Tell you what, I'll think about it and ring you back."

"Oh yes, you do that. I'll tell you what Joyce! Just in case you forget, and you would be surprised how many people do! I'll give you another ring later and you can give me your answer then. We are so looking forward to seeing you and your gorgeous husband there."

"Er...I don't think...We aren't..."

"Oh dear, not another divorce!"

"Well, personally I've only had the one."

"I know dear, but every other person I speak to has... Never mind, there will be lots of single people there. You never know you may meet Mr Ri..."

"Er no..." No, no, no, no, NO. Room full of sweaty, single, forty-three year old males. Personal hell, deepest nightmare, NO. "Is it alright if I bring my boyfriend?"

"Does that mean you're coming darling?! Oh, I'm so pleased. See you there then. I'll send an official invite through the post. Bye bye sweetie." Click, the phone went dead.

Joyce sighed, Judith Horner, loud, rude, totally obnoxious and dreadfully persuasive. She had pushed every single one of the right buttons. She turned round to her daughter, to find Buffy staring at her, aghast. "Mom! You don't have a boyfriend! Do you?"

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A few minutes later Buffy was lying, in hysterics, on the sofa. "Oh Mom! I don't believe it! You! Number one at the guilt manipulation! Master of the famous 'Mom Face'. You being hoist by your own petard."

Joyce put on the famous 'Mom Face', and glared at her daughter. "I'm glad to see you've not wasted your English course. I was NOT manipulated, I'll quite like going really. Terri'll be going. I've not seen her for years. I can call on Grandma Mackay while I'm there. Yes, it'll be good."

"O.K. we've done the accepting fate thing, but how about this one. Where are you going to get a boyfriend between now and the twelfth? Rent one!"

"I'll just turn up and say he couldn't make it."

"Then you'll have all the singles and divorced making drunken passes at you. I think I'd prefer to rent... Or..." Buffy looked up at her. "Mom! I've got a really wicked idea!"

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Even after twenty-five years Joyce could still recognise Judith Horner. She didn't even need the sound of the powerful, cut-glass voice to help her out. She sneaked in through the main door of Grantham Pools High, hoping that she would not be spotted. It didn't work, Judith descended on her like a truck load of bricks, pulling the instantly recognisable figure of her EX-best friend Terri with her.

"Joyce Mackay, sorry Summers, (I've been doing that all night, sweetie)" You could hear the parentheses. "You haven't changed a bit since you were eighteen." She beamed at Joyce, "I just know that Terri is dying to take you away for a good old chat. But there are lots of people who are longing to meet you."

Terri leaned towards her, yanking her arm out of Judith's death grip, and whispered fiercely. "Oh yeah! Joy baby, I'm dying to have a chat with YOU!"

Joyce looked at her, shocked, if anyone had the right to be angry it was her. If Terri hadn't broken the truce, she could have resisted everything Judith had thrown at her. She would be vegging out in front of the TV at home, right now. Instead she was here, being introduced to a few polite people who she didn't remember, and who didn't remember her.

"Now Joyce," Said Judith in her sweetest tones, still about 500 decibels louder than anyone else's "Have you persuaded the man in your life to come tonight, or did he panic and bail."

"Er no... He was just paying off the cab, he might not be sure where to go, perhaps I'd better go and look..."

"For who?" a man's voice came from behind her.

She turned to him, "For you, I thought you might have got lost."

"Between the cab and the door, don't be silly Joyce." He slipped his arm around her, she did her best not to jump. "I just thought you looked busy, you know, catching up with your friends." He smiled at Terri and Judith. "Tell you what, honey, you find a table and I'll go get some drinks. The usual?"

How the hell would he know what she drank, "No! I think I'm in the mood for little Champagne tonight, get a bottle will you." She reckoned she'd need more than one to get through THIS night. How the hell had she let herself be persuaded into it?

"'Kay," He looked at the crowd and echoed her last thought, "How the hell did you persuade me to come here?" He pulled her closer and pretended to kiss her cheek. "Oh yeah... I remember now." He smirked and walked off to get the drinks.

Judith and Terri's jaws were round about knee line when she looked back at them. Terri giggled, "Oh Joy! Looks like another thing hasn't changed since you were eighteen, your taste in men." She watched as Xander went over to the bar. "You reckon they'll ask for ID?" She turned back to Joyce and grinned. "Nice ass, though."

Judith's mouth had disappeared into a tight pout. "Joyce, please tell me that... that... BOY is your son!"

It was Joyce's turn to smirk. "Would that make you happy?" she asked.

Terri laughed, "It probably would, yes, until she sees you sticking your tongue down his throat."

"God! Terri you're disgusting!"

"Hey babe! I'm not the one here with the toyboy!"

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Joyce and Terri found a table and Joyce sat down. Terri stayed standing, looking at her. There was a definite chill in the air and Joyce was sure it was not because of Xander. She took the bull by the horns. "O.K. Terri, spill it."

Terri glared at her. "I only came to this... hell mouth!" She didn't notice Joyce wince at her choice of phrase. "Because you were coming. You broke our pact."

Joyce just stared at her, then burst into giggles. "Oh Terri! She-she conned us! I was about to say the same thing to you!"

Terri started to laugh and sat down. "We've got to get her back. She can't be allowed to get away with this! What did we used to do when she annoyed us?"

"You pushed her fully clothed into the swimming pool that time."

"Oh yeah! That was a good idea. Not only did I have to dive in, also fully clothed, and rescue her, but her parents made me pay the dry cleaning bills! Not one of our finest hours."

"I helped with the payments. Hey! Most of the school helped with the payments."

"She was never well liked, was she?" Terri looked almost sad at that. "I think the problem was that she never put a foot wrong. She's married to the Mayor now, the papers'd love a bit of gossip on her. However much they dig, she always comes up smelling of roses. Still, d'yer remember when..."

They reminisced past battles with Judith, almost collapsing in fits of giggles.

"So!" Said Joyce when they had calmed down. "Where's Chester?" She remembered Judith's comments on the phone, and gasped. "You've not split..."

Terri sighed, "No such luck, he'll be in a drunken stupor at Mom's house by now. He promised he'd come, but the whisky bottle won again."

"I'm sorry! We really haven't talked for such a long time."

"Hey! Why are we talking about my relationship? When your's is much more interesting. To say nothing of younger... and yummier. Do you change his diapers?"

"Only when I've been very, very good." Xander put the champagne bottle in the middle of the table, added two glasses and a coke and sat down. "Sorry it took so long... honey. It's this reminiscing thing, they're all drinking to forget. It was getting scary in there."

"Never mind." Said Terri, soothingly. "When it's your twenty-fifth reunion, in say twenty-five years time, you'll know what to expect."

Xander grinned at her, "Twenty-three years time, you mean."

"Sorry, my mistake. I'm Terri by the way. Joyce had better've mentioned me. Or else."

"Yeah sure. You're the one with the pet crocodile aren't you, or are you the one who can burp the alphabet backwards. I get so confused."

Terri looked at him, realised he was joking and laughed. "Confused. It must be that old age creeping up on you."

Xander laughed with her. "Er... I'm Xander by the way. Just in case you got round to discussing my diapers, without actually mentioning my name."

While they were talking Joyce had chance to down a glass of Champagne, and was feeling much calmer about things. She hardly jumped at all when Xander put his arm round her this time. In fact, it felt quite nic...

O.K.! No need to panic! She stopped drinking, and dragged Terri to the bathroom. It was confession time.

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"He's what?!"

"He's one of Buffy's best friends. I've known him since he was sixteen. Buffy bribed him into doing this, I daren't even ask how!"

"Joy baby! You're babbling, calm down or else I'm gonna have to go get a paper bag."

"I suppose you think I'm pathetic, needing a partner for something as silly as a high school reunion. I mean you came without one."

Terri turned her friend round, put her hands on her shoulders and said, "This from the woman who went to the freshman homecoming without a date and foiled a kidnapping gang. No, I don't think you're pathetic. If I could have got me a 'Xander' for this bash, I'd have jumped at it. Not just 'cause of the nice ass, either." Joyce raised her eyebrows and Terri grinned back. "Did you see Judith's face when he first put his arm round you. It was priceless. As for that pouty little 'Is he your son?'. Joyce, Buffy's a genius. Go out there, have a few slow dances with him then leave. You won't be remembered as, Joyce Summers, who spent the whole night constantly fending off drunken passes. You'll be remembered as, the woman who persuaded her gorgeous, young boyfriend to escort her to a boring school reunion and left early 'cause she couldn't wait to get him to bed."

Joyce grinned at that. "I'm still not sure."

"Go for it girl, behave badly. I would."

"Yeah... I know." Joyce turned to leave.

"Oh, and Joyce?"

"Yeah."

"I've got a really boring conference next week, could I borr..."

"NO!"

Terri grinned at the mirror, "No harm in asking."

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They did leave early, after another two bottles of Champagne. Terri decided to leave as well so they could share a cab. "Well." Said Joyce with a sigh of relief, "That went well, eventually."

"Speak for yourself." Moaned Xander, "You didn't get felt up while waiting at the bar. She was pretty blatant about it too."

"I didn't see that." Terri said,with a grin. "Do tell."

"It was the woman you and Joyce were talking to when I first came in. Women like that shouldn't be allowed to drink, she practically had her hand down my pants." Joyce and Terri were grinning their heads off. "What?!"

"Oh, thank you Xander." Said Joyce with glee. "Blackmail material on Judith, after twenty-five years, almost worth coming for."

"Yeah," Agreed Terri. "All we have to do is mention you're a trainee journalist, and she'll be putty in our hands."

Xander looked at them both. "I think that was one bottle of bubbly too many. I'd better find a cab."

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When Terri had been dropped off at her mother's house. Joyce said to Xander. "O.K. I've got to know. How did Buffy persuade you to do this."

"You mean, apart from the truck load of homemade cookies you owe me?"

Joyce smiled, "Yes."

Xander thought for a second, then said in a small voice. "Cherry pitting."

"What?"

"Buffy and me, we had a bet on how far we could spit cherry pits. If I won, she had to come to my office parties for the next two years and be nice to my boss. If she won, I did this. She won."

"Two twenty year-olds? Cherry pitting? Where?"

"In the park."

Joyce started to laugh all over again. "You know, I'm almost glad I agreed to this now. It's been fun."

Xander laughed as well, "You should have seen your face when I pretended to kiss you."

"I'll bet!"

The cab drew up outside Joyce's parents' house. "'Night Xander, I'll tell Buffy you kept your end of the bargain."

"'Night."

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The cab dropped him off at his motel. He walked to his room. There was a light was on inside it. He pushed the door, it was unlocked. He walked in, "You shouldn't leave the door open." He said, calmly. "This isn't exactly the best of neighborhoods. Anyone could get in." He picked the keys up off top of the TV and locked the door.

"Sorry." Said Terri, "I just didn't think it'd take you so long to drop Joyce off."

The End