Nullus Anxietas
It had been a good summer. One of the best in Xander's opinion. No Angel, always a plus. Cordy had got over her brief flirtation with all things English and had been nice to him, very nice when the others had not been there. They'd not been able to keep their hands off each other (a great ego boost after Faith). OK, Willow and Oz were obviously screwing each other senseless too (which he did not want to think about in too much detail) and Buffy had missed Angel. But once again, they had saved the world, and they partied all summer long, no troubles and no worries.
Even now there were more things to look forwards to than to dread. He would start as Research Assistant and Trainee Journalist at The Sunnydale Press next week, a very grand title for a general dogsbody. He would be looking up background information in books and files (just like researching demons but with less of the yuck factor), going to college part time and he would be getting paid for it. He still had to live at home, but who said life had to be perfect. Uncle Roary had given him his car as a graduation present, so he didn't have to rent it any more and he could go to L.A. to see Cordy whenever he could afford the gas.
However, today he was on his way to do one of the few things he was dreading, picking Cordy up to take her to L.A to join her parents. She had stayed with her aunt over summer while her family settled in L.A.. Her aunt was a deaf, hypochondriac who did not care what Cordy did, so long as she spent a few minutes each day shrieking soothing endearments at her, saying how ill she was looking and how brave she was. He had got to know her aunt's guestroom's bed very well over that summer.
Cordy opened the door to him, as usual she was looking fantastic, and as usual his heart skipped a beat. Why did she always do this to him, he had to sit next to her in his car all the way to the city and leave her there, when all he wanted to do was take her home and screw her all night long. "Are you ready?".
"Almost, just got to check round, make sure I've not left something important."
What about me! His thoughts screamed at her, but he just said, "OK, I'll wait by the car."
"No, come on in. This could take time." She grinned at him, "If you get bored you can always go shout at Auntie. She likes you."
"Great, the only one of your family that can stand me is the mad one."
"Oh come on Xander, she's the only one you like as well." She walked towards the staircase.
"That's because we share the deep bond that is our mutual knowledge of long-winded medical terms. I knew playing Doctor with Willow would pay off in the end."
She turned back, looking at him through her lashes, "Wouldn't you rather play it with me?"
His mouth went dry. "I thought you had to go...now."
"I've not seen my parents all summer. A few more hours won't hurt."
"H...h..hours?"
She smiled sneakily, "Well, if you're not up to it..."
He grabbed her round her waist, "Keep talking nurse and I'll show you exactly what I can do with my stethoscope." She giggled and pulled away.
"I was hoping you might." She kissed him quickly and ran up the stairs, he was close behind her. She took his hand and pulled him into the guestroom, locking the door behind them.
********************
He pushed her against the door kissing her slowly, opening her mouth and caressing her tongue. She slid her hands up his chest to his shoulders, with one she stroked the back of his neck, the other threaded it's way through his hair. He pulled the tie out of her hair, fondling it gently as it fell silkily over her shoulders, down almost to her waist. His hands moved down, stroking her breasts. He could feel her nipples hard through the material and squeezed them between his finger and thumb. She pulled away from his mouth, gasped and moaned, her warm breath on his neck sending shivers up and down his spine.
She pushed his jacket off his shoulders, he pulled it off and threw it in the corner. He bent and kissed her again while she undid the buttons of his shirt. It soon joined the jacket. "Mmm..." She ran her hands over his chest, "Why do you always look so much better without clothes?"
"It's a cunning plan to make you want to undress me all the time."
She laughed, "It's working." Her hands lightly caressed his stomach, teasing him, moving down past his waist as if to touch his cock, but pulling away at the last moment. He slid his hands under her top, pushing it up over her breasts. They were beautiful, full and tanned with hard, upturned nipples, perfect, like the rest of her. He pulled the top off her and just looked at her before kissing her again. He bit at her neck and she moaned, rubbing her clit against him. He stroked her breasts, teasing her, as she had done him, by almost but not quite touching her nipples.
She pushed him away for a moment and, kneeling, she undid his jeans, pulling them down along with his shorts, freeing his huge, hard cock. She ran her tongue along it from base to tip, licking at the cum already gathered at the slit. She took the head into her mouth, sucking gently and looked up at him. He was leaning against the wall with his eyes closed and mouth open, moaning. She pulled away, "Open your eyes, I want you to watch me."
She slid her mouth over him again, sucking and licking all round the head, before pulling him into her mouth as far as she could. He watched his cock sliding in and out of her perfect mouth and could feel his balls tighten, warning him that he was getting close to the edge. "Cordy, I'm gonna come..."
She pulled away for a moment. "That's the idea." She said, licking her lips before pulling him back to her mouth. She swallowed him as far as she could, gradually taking him further in, down her throat. Her tongue stroked him, her lips suckled at him and her throat rippled around him. He couldn't stand it any longer, and exploded down her throat.
He pulled his softening cock out of her mouth, and she licked her lips. "Mmmm, I love a snack before a journey." She gave him one of her especially wicked looks. "We can go now, if you want."
If he'd said yes, she would have killed him. He kicked his jeans and shorts off his legs and picked her up. He threw her on the bed and knelt next to it, his hands on her legs. He pushed her skirt up to her waist, she wasn't wearing anything under it. Her hot, wet cunt glistened as she opened her legs, giving him access.
"If I hadn't wanted this, when were you planning on telling me you weren't wearing panties?"
"Just as we got onto the freeway." She laughed and pulled his head down between her legs.
He started with her thighs, licking and nibbling the sensitive skin, gradually, inch by inch working his way up to the top. She bucked and wriggled under him, trying to force her aching clit against his mouth. He held her down and carried on bathing her thighs. She moaned, begging him to hurry.
He moved up so that his face was almost buried in her cunt. She smelled good, good enough to eat. He licked her from back to front, pushing his tongue inside her core, then sweeping it up to her clit. Her swirled his tongue round her clit and gave it a quick hard suck before licking back to her core again. "Oh God! Xander don't tease... suck me..." Her hand caught hold of his head, dragging it up to her clit.
As he sucked on the swollen bud, he thrust two fingers inside her core, stretching and stroking her. She grunted as he fucked her with his fingers. She moved her hands up to her breasts, playing with her nipples as he worked on her pussy. He stomach tightened and she started to pant. He felt her contracting round his fingers and her juices dripped out of her as she came.
She squirmed under him as he licked her clean. He finally pulled his head away from her. He was rock hard again and felt inside the nightstand for the packet she kept there. She stood up and pulled her skirt off. She took the condom off him. "Let me. Mmmm, citrus flavor."
She unrolled it slightly, put it in her mouth, then slid it over his cock with her lips and teeth, grazing the skin gently. "Where did you get this idea from." She said, lying back on the bed. "It's gotta be the best way of getting a guy to wear a rubber that anyone could possibly think of."
Xander stopped, staring at her. He didn't want to go there, even after a year, the memory was too painfull. "Er, I just thought... What would I most like round my dick and the idea was there... easy really."
Cordy laughed and pulled him down to her. "O.K., that one's sorted out. Now shut up and fuck me."
He kissed her as she opened her legs under him. He rammed his cock deep inside her, thrusting hard, just how she liked. She loved sucking him off, she loved being eaten, but one of the things she liked best was when he slammed inside her as fast as he could. She was moaning and writhing under him, meeting every lunge with her own. Her muscles started to squeeze him, they contracted round him as she came with a squeal, throbbing around him. He slowed down gradually then pulled out.
He knew what she'd want to do now. She piled up the pillows in the middle of the bed and lay across them her ass in the air. He grabbed the tube of jell from the night stand and spread it all over his cock. He pushed one of his lubed fingers inside her anus, spreading the slick jell inside her.
She moaned as the head of his huge cock pushed against her ass, slowly filling her. He moved back and slid inside her gently a few times before starting to drive himself into her, faster and faster. She came again as her rammed inside her passage, he felt that tight feeling in his balls again and rubbed at her clit so that when he exploded inside her, she was not far behind.
They collapsed sideways on the bed, exhausted. He pulled himself out of her, wrapped the condom up and threw it away. He lay back down behind her, slipping his arms round her. "When d'you need to be in L.A."
She smiled sleepily, "We've got hours yet. Rest, you're gonna need it."
********************
Much later, he stopped the car outside her new home, a small house with a garden, in a wide suburban street. She had a brief struggle with the safety belt but pushed him away when he leaned over to help. "I can manage!"
"OK, I'll... er... get your bags."
"Thanks." What the hell was going on? He had been getting the silent treatment ever since they had passed the outskirts of L.A.. He got her bags out of the trunk and off the back seat. Considering that it was Cordy, there were not that many and they were not too heavy. He put them onto the sidewalk and turned to look at her. She was looking at him, biting her bottom lip. He smiled and moved towards her, putting his hands on the tops of her arms and bending slightly to kiss her.
"No!" She pulled away from him. "Xander, we have to talk, or rather I have to talk and you have to listen."
"What..."
She frowned at him and put her finger on his lips to silence him. "This is it. Summer is over. I've moved away from Sunnydale to a new place and I need to make a new start, without you. This may not be Beverley Hills or Malibu but it's nice and normal. No vampires, demons, witches, werewolves, invisible girls or vampire slayers. I'm going to start school in a few weeks, I'm going to meet normal people. I'm going to meet guys who didn't take 1000 year old genies to their senior prom, who got through the whole of their Graduation ceremony without blowing up their school and who drive cars that were built this decade." She kicked the blue chevvy lightly to emphasise her point. "This summer has been fun, but it has to end here. I don't want a long distance relationship and you can't cope with one. In weeks you'd be chasing the first short skirt that caught your eye."
He stared at her, shocked, "And the reason you couldn't tell me this at your Aunt's was?"
"I was going to, but I didn't want to have to take the bus." She wrinkled her nose sarcastically.
He looked at her. "And the real reason is?"
"OK, I got horny, so sue me. It just happens to be one of the few things you're good at. Telling you then would have spoiled it."
"As opposed to the perfectly wonderful time we're having now?"
"Xander, it's finished, just accept it." She picked up two of her bags and carried them up the path. Halfway there, she turned back to him. "Oh... and two pieces of advice. In future, when you're dating, try to ration yourself to one mention of Buffy or Willow's name per date, and don't go after Buffy. You two have got far too good a relationship to spoil it. Before you deny that to yourself, remember how much you hate where you are now with Willow. Just embrace the brother-sister thing and work with it."
He was speechless, a very rare occurrence. She dumped her bags on the path and rang the doorbell. Xander got into the car and started the engine, the last people he wanted to see at that moment were Cordelia's parents. As he set off, he saw the door open and to his surprise, Cordy's Mother came out and hugged her. That definitely had to be a first, the Chase family were not big on touching.
Cordelia quickly got over the shock of physical contact with her mother. She carried her bags into the house and mom helped! Her mom looked great, better than she had for years. Her dad was in the kitchen, cooking! He hugged her as well. Cordy was not sure that she could take all this. "OK," she said with a tearful smile, "What have you two done with my parents."
********************
How Xander got back home, he could not remember. The Guardian Angel of drunks, little old ladies in flowery hats, ditched boyfriends and other such people who should not be behind the wheel of a car, had to have been working overtime.
He stamped his way up to his room, only pausing to grab a bottle of whisky out of the well stocked liquor cupboard. There might sometimes be no food in his house, but you could always guarantee a hangover. He quickly got to the stage where he needed to talk to someone. Have the sort of drunken conversation that diluted the hooch with tears.
He focussed, with difficulty, on the phone and rang the most familiar number. Willow, she was his best friend. She'd listen to him, maybe come over. Maybe hold him and kiss him and stroke... he slammed down the phone before it could be picked up. No, Cordelia had been right, a few stupid kisses had ruined the friendship of a lifetime. It would be years, if ever, 'til they got their friendship back.
He started to cry, stupid, fucking bitches the two of them, all of them. All the women in the world had rejected him. Christ, even his own mother never spoke to him. He dialled the second most familiar number. He waited for Buffy to answer. She didn't... Joyce did.
He almost dropped the phone, he'd not heard her voice in such a long time. "Hello." She said, "Is there someone there?"
He forced out the words, only slurring a little. "Is Buffy there?"
"No. She's gone to see her dad... Xander, are you drunk?"
"Better had be or this label's lying."
"It doesn't help, you know that."
"I don't care, Cordelia's a bitch, Willow's a bitch and you're the worst of the lot. It's always the same, I get close to someone, she pretends she wants me and just as soon as I start falling in love with her, it's 'Get lost Xander, I don't want you. I'd rather fuck a librarian on a police car!'"
There was no sound from the phone, he thought she had gone, and was about to slam it down again, when she said. "I didn't want to hurt you. There was a reason behind it. A lot of reasons. We weren't supposed to fall in love. It should have been a physical thing, no emotions, no worries, nothing but sex and laughs. A way for me to cope without Buffy."
"I'm glad you got what you wanted then."
"I didn't, you know I didn't. Neither of us stuck to the script. We weren't supposed to fall in love and... and... I shouldn't have got pregnant!" The phone clicked as she slammed the phone down.
********************
He was hammering on the door so hard that she thought he would break it down. "Go away!" She shouted.
"Let me in Joyce, or I'll... let your neighbors know what sort of bitch you are, at the top of my voice. Open...this...door!"
"I think my neighbours are past caring!"
"Fine! Then they won't bother when I break the window and let myself in."
Joyce opened the door. "Knowing you, you'd cut yourself and I'd have to take you to the E.R.." He walked in, quietly, closing the door behind him.
He stared across at her. "I've got here... and I don't know what to say."
"There's nothing to say. I'm the one at fault here. I shouldn't have told you."
"What happened."
"It died, I miscarried, a few weeks before the candy thing. I had a bad time, I think that's why those things affected me so much." She folded her arms across her chest, hugging herself. "I couldn't tell you, I shouldn't have told you and we can't change anything. What's done is done." Tears welled up in her eyes. He stepped closer, wiping away her tears with his fingers. She buried her face in his jacket and he held her close. "It's always easier to cope with things when I'm with you." She said quietly, then looked up at him. "I take it Cordelia gave you a pretty awful break-up speech to get you to this stage?"
"Major crash and burn, but not as bad as me kissing someone else in front of her." He bent down and kissed her gently. She gasped as the shivers ran down her spine. "But, you know?" He continued. "All of a sudden, I don't care."
She pulled his mouth to her and kissed him back, caressing his mouth with her tongue as her stomach tightened and her knees went weak with desire. "We could try again" She gasped out, "Try for the sex, fun and laughter. And if anything else happens, we'll deal with it then."
He laughed. "Talk about an offer I can't refuse."
"No secrets this time, promise."
"Yeah. Those are the rules. No secrets, no fuss, no trouble and no worries."
The End
To 'Playing It Hot' part two: Cats And Dogs