I do not own any of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer charactors, they belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and WB. I am writing this story purely to get an idea out of my head and into pixels. I am not going to make any money out of it, so please don't sue or else my goldfish might starve.
Joyce goes to her Freshman Homecoming at college without a date.
The situation and title are from her pep talk to Buffy in 'Prophecy Girl'.
Rating:PG
Distribution: Yes, just tell me where it is going.
Feedback: Oh yes, Email Me please!,
constructive crits are treasured, flames are put on the notice board and laughed at.
Joyce stood in front of the long mirror and looked at herself. "What the hell was I thinking of?" She said to her reflection, "I could be spending the evening at home. I could write letters, shave my legs, have a bubble bath, I could even ring Mom. But no, I have to act the tough, independent, 70's woman, and tell Terri I didn't care about not having a date for Homecoming, and that I was going anyway. She's going to spend the whole night digging for Chester's tonsils with her tongue and... I'm gonna be sick."
She turned slightly side to side, looking at her dress from different angles. "At least I got the dress right. It looks really gorgeous. Hell!...I look gorgeous. When I walk in that room, I won't be able to move without tripping over some guy's tongue. They're all going to realise what they missed by not asking me out." She sighed, "Sure they are Joyce... Keep it up...You never know, you might even be able to convince yourself to leave the bathroom.... I'm gonna be sick"
Thumping on the bathroom door made her jump. Terri's voice shouted through the keyhole, "Come on Joy baby, get out of there, pleeease! Chester's gonna be here any minute and I'm dying to pee!" How could she refuse such a heartfelt request. She unlocked the door, took a deep breath and walked out. Her friend smiled at her, "You'll be the belle of the ball." she said looking her up and down, "Which will be fine so long as..."
"...nobody tries to ring me." Finished Joyce with a groan, "Your jokes get worse every year, and yet some, strangely, stay exactly the same."
"I forget how well you know me." Terri grinned. Her grin turned to panic as the doorbell rang. "Oh God, that's Chester. Go let him in, but don't let him look down your cleavage or else he's not going to be interested in mine tonight. Go...shoo." Terri scooted into the bathroom while Joyce went to let the boy in.
"Chester?" she said to herself, "What an awful name!" Admittedly he didn't look or act like a Chester. Still it could have been worse, he might have been called Chuck or even Hank. She giggled to herself as she headed for the door.
********************
An hour later Joyce was feeling a little better. It had all got off to rather a shaky start but a couple of dances with friends and two vodka and orange's had worked wonders. The worst thing had been walking in and seeing that girl wearing exactly the same dress. Only the other girl filled it out a lot more and was draped all over this seriously cute guy. Major league depression. Terri said she looked like a bitch on heat and guys didn't like that kind of thing. Oh yes, she was really going to believe that.
Terri had disappeared, probably found a cosy little corner for some tonsil cleaning. Her favourite song was playing but none of her friends wanted to dance. Joyce was starting to feel out of it again, but this time she stopped herself. So what if no one else wanted to dance, she wanted to dance, there were lots of people on the dance floor, nobody would realise she was dancing by herself. She got up and danced at the edge of the dancefloor, losing herself in the music, it really was a great song.
When it finished, she was about to turn and go back to her friends, when someone slid an arm round her waist from behind. He kissed her neck. Joyce stiffened in shock. A voice in her ear said, "Hey baby, where'd you disappear to? I was worried." She was then turned round and kissed on her mouth. All of a sudden the feeling came back in Joyce's arms, she pushed the boy away violently, then slapped him across the face.
"What the hell do you..." he started angrily, then his eyes widened in shock, "Oh! I'm so sorry, I thought you were someone else."
"Course you did!" snapped Joyce glaring at him.
"No, honestly. She's got the same dress on, same hair, everything. I'm really sorry, I'm... er... just really sorry."
When she looked at him closer, it was the cute guy she had noticed as she walked in, the one with the girl in the same dress as her. It could have been a genuine mistake. "Alright forget about it."
He grinned at her, "That's not very likely, I'm gonna have a bruise on my jaw for weeks. You ever thought of going in for boxing."
"No," answered Joyce dryly, "My Judo teacher wouldn't like it, bad for my technique." That usually sent them scurrying off back to their friends.
"Judo! Hey that's way cool. I bet you could have just thrown me over your shoulder if you'd wanted."
"Yes, but then I might have broken your back. The police tend to frown on people doing things like that over one stupid kiss. So you were fairly safe."
Neither of them had noticed a man at the bar, who was staring at them in horror. He rushed over to the phone, fed in quarters and dialled. "Come on! Pick up the phone moron... Hey Greg man, We got a problem! We got the wrong girl...No man I'm not on anything... Just listen to me will you... Her date, he's with her, right dress, right hair. Chattering away like little monkeys. What d'yer think's gonna happen if you ring up her doting Daddy tomorrow morning demanding cash, when he can see her eating breakfast on the terrace. I'll watch her, you get back here now, we gotta do it all over again."
********************
Joyce went back to her table grinning, she was dying to tell Terri about the mix up,but she was still the invisible friend. Another drink seemed a good idea by now. There was a huge crush round the bar. An idiot with too many drinks on too small a tray, (and obviously just as many drinks inside him) rushed past her, knocking her backwards.
She should have been furious, of course, but for two reasons she wasn't. The first was the highly satisfying crash of breaking glass and spilled liquor from the direction the idiot had been headed. The second was the smoothly exciting way she was caught and lifted upright again by strong hands behind her.
She turned round. WOW!!!! He was gorgeous, and he wasn't letting go. "Thanks, I... er... Thanks!" She stammered.
"Any time, it was a pleasure, believe me." He had the most fantastic smile and the deepest blue eyes she had ever seen. "Did you want a drink? It's a bit of a crush here, but I've got a bottle of champagne at my table, if you'd like to..."
Would she like to? Did he really have to ask? Champagne, music and the hottest guy here. Would she like to? "Er... yes that would be nice."
"Great!" he flashed her that fantastic smile again, guiding her to his table with his hand still at her waist. She did not object, as a some point during the last smile, her knees had gone very weak.
For the next half hour they just talked. He was not only gorgeous but clever and funny as well. He was really interested in her, listening to everything she said with flattering attention. The champagne was delicious and Joyce was in heaven.
It was very hot in the room, so when he suggested they take a walk outside she did not object. The thought of kisses in the moonlight doing nothing to make her any cooler. There were plenty of other couples already out there. He guided her towards the car park. "There's some benches near the trees at the entrance." he said, smiling at her, "Let's go sit down."
She followed willingly, but when they got to the trees there were no loveseats, just a big, black van with it's lights out. He grabbed her roughly by the arms, dragging her to the van. The van doors opened and a trussed up girl was thrown out into the rough grass. There was no way that Joyce was going to let herself get caught like that.
She screamed at the top of her voice, the man took one hand off her arms to put over her mouth. She took the opportunity and, using all the strength and skill of her judo training, threw him to the ground, knocking him unconscious. Two other men jumped out of the van, closing on her. Okay, she was good, but not that good. She was backing away, kicking off her heels and preparing to run, when a body launched itself at the men from behind. It was the cute, confused guy from the dancefloor. He landed on top of one of the men, sitting on his back and punching at him.
The other man carried on towards Joyce, but one-on-one she could handle. Soon both men were in no state to fight any more. Joyce and her new friend looked at each other. "What do we do with them now?" he asked.
"We could untie her, make sure she's alright and use her ropes to tie them up with. Then we need to go for the police..." Joyce did not finish, for as soon as she pointed at the girl, his face had gone white and he rushed to her, kneeling in the grass and untying her.
"Stella! Baby! What did they do to you? It's okay now, you're safe, I'll take you home, you don't need to worry about a thing." Joyce went over to help. To their surprise, as soon as the girl's arms were free, she slapped him across the face in exactly the same place Joyce had. He was really going to have a bruise tomorrow. "What was that for?" he said, jumping back, startled.
"It's all your fault." she sobbed.
"My fault?" His voice went up an octive.
"Yeah, you were such a lousy date that I had to go off with another guy to have a good time, and got kidnapped. Now get me out of these ropes so I can ring Daddy and go home."
"What the...You can untie yourself! I've got better things to do." he turned to Joyce, "They'll have had ropes and things in that van to tie you up with. I'm going to have a look. Then I'm going for the cops. Do you mind staying here with supertramp."
"Er...no I don't mind."
"Good, 'cause I can't stand any more of this."
********************
An hour later, the police had got everything organised. Stella had gone to the hospital to be checked over, the three men had been charged and statements had been taken. Joyce was waiting at the station for a cop car to take her home. She had said she could walk, but they had insisted. Joking that if they didn't she might come back and knock them out as well.
Someone came and sat next to her, it was 'cute and confused'. "Hey... how are you doing?" he said quietly.
"Okay, I guess, I've got to wait."
"Yeah, me too." he looked at her with a smile, " Do you know what, I've just had the second most exciting night I could have with a girl and I don't even know your name."
"I'm Joyce, college freshman, fine arts. And you?"
"Hank, also freshman, business studies."
"Hank?"
"I could change it if you don't like it."
"It's better than Chuck." She said with a giggle.
"Or Murgatroid." He grinned at her.
"Or St John, I've always hated that one."
They carried on swapping names and laughing until it was time to be driven home. Joyce sat in the front seat of the cop car and smiled to herself. There was no way that Terri was ever going to believe any of this.
The End (or should I say: The Beginning)